Operation: Christmas
by Violet Nyte
Summary: Can the Gundam pilots survive being trapped in an abandoned home over Christmas holiday by a blizzard? Will the other pilots finally snap and kill Duo after his hundreth round singing a variant of "Jingle Bells?" 1x2, 3x4 -silliness! finished-
1. December 23rd

LSE // 12-14-02  
(Operation: Christmas - Chapter One: December 23rd)  
rated: PG13 - adult language, content, sexual references  
shounen-ai/yaoi  
  
December 23rd  
  
  
  
  
"I'm not lost."  
  
"Duo, I think you are."  
  
"This is unacceptable."  
  
"Is that the same tree we just passed?"  
  
"Who can tell? They all look the same."  
  
Duo tightened his grip on the wheel and successfully suppressed the   
urge to simply take the car off the nearest cliff. Not that he could   
find a cliff in this middle of the God-forsaken forest he seemed to   
have plunged deeply into.  
  
"I am not lost," he repeated, looking sideways to the now silent   
passenger beside him and three in the back.  
  
"Does anyone have a map?" Quatre asked from his place wedged between   
Wufei and Trowa.  
  
"If we had a map we wouldn't be lost," Wufei snapped irritably, quite   
fed up with being squished and having to listen to Duo's random bursts  
of warbled singing for the past three hours.  
  
Aqua hues quavered and slowly filled with tears, liquifying as they   
shimmered in an angelic look of hurt.  
  
"Wufei, are you making Quatre cry again?" the driver demanded, feeling  
very much like any holiday driving-dad with a back seat full of   
impatient, cranky children. Only all of his cranky children had   
semi-automatic hand guns.   
  
"Don't make me sing another round of Jingle Bells!" Duo threatened.  
  
"By Nataku, anything but THAT," the Chinese boy muttered, eliciting   
an amused grunt from Heero and a tearful smile from the small blonde   
at his side. "My apologies for irresponsibly speaking harshly," Wufei   
intoned, dark eyes glancing sideways.  
  
A beaming smile replaced the tearful pout and Quatre warmly embraced   
the other boy as well as he could given the restraints of space and   
seat belts. He was the only one wearing a seat belt besides Trowa,   
who wasn't able to resist the small blonde's pleading aqua eyes when   
they were turned on full force.   
  
"Forgiven!" Quatre exclaimed with a grin.  
  
Duo suddenly burst into song, using the tune of Jingle Bells,   
"Driving through the snow, looking for the road..."  
  
"Those aren't even the right words!"  
  
"I am a creative genius, don't deny my talent,"Duo retorted, belting   
an impromptu chorus: "Deathscythe's pilot, Deathscythe's pilot is   
freaking sexy. He drives the car because he can, while everyone--"  
  
"DUO!" bellowed Wufei, Trowa and Heero and the same time. More   
precisely, Heero shouted 'baka' and Trowa merely spoke forcefully,   
but Wufei, at least, shouted. So, same affect.  
  
The braided pilot laughed, turning his head to grin at them all,   
"What, don't like my song?"  
  
"Duo! Look OUT!" Quatre suddenly shrieked, pointing forward as a tree   
burst out into view, directly in the path of the vehicle  
  
Tires squealed as the five pilots each began shouting. Duo, yelling   
un-repeatable profanity, applied the brakes and tried to keep control   
of the car. Heero, mostly shouting incomprehensible profanity in his   
native Japanese, alternately cursed Duo, the snow and the tree.   
  
Quatre and Wufei also reverted to their native tongues, the former   
offering a prayer to Allah and the latter joining the front seat in   
non-repeatable swearing. For his part, Trowa simply stated the   
obvious: "Tree!"  
  
Despite Duo's best efforts, the car compacted squarely into the   
imposing oak. With the exception of the two seat belt-wearing boys,   
the occupants were flung forward upon impact. The inside of the car   
was a glorious explosion of chaos for several minutes until foreign   
curses faded to a palpable silence.  
  
"Dame," Heero growled, "not good."  
  
"Is everyone alright?" Quatre asked, rubbing his middle where the   
tough belt had painfully constricted. Compared to Heero, who was   
mostly on the dash and Wufei, all but squashed into the back of Duo's   
seat, his mild discomfort wasn't an injury.  
  
"Operational," Heero replied immediately.  
  
Duo let out a short laugh, "Thank you, Mister Robot."  
  
"I am not a robot."  
  
"Are so."  
  
Wufei lifted his head slightly and then thunked it solidly to the   
seat back, "Stop arguing, weaklings!"  
  
"I am fine," Trowa said softly, but no one was listening.  
  
"If you would stop molesting the back of my seat--" Duo began.  
  
"Molest? You unhonorable--"  
  
"If you had not crashed our transportation..."  
  
"So it's my fault?" Duo cried, one hand dramatically pressed to the   
cross he wore in mock rejection.  
  
"YES!" all four of the others shouted. Even Trowa.  
  
Silence reigned as Duo, Wufei and Heero nursed their mild wounds and   
sulked. "We shouldn't stay in the car. It might explode," Quatre   
offered, uneasily watching the one stoic and three angry pilots.  
  
After a heated battle involving much Chinese profanity, Wufei all but   
blew the car door off its hinges. Trowa and Heero, whose doors hasn't   
been nearly as crumpled, easily piled out of the car and into the   
snow. A fierce blizzard loomed, sending drifts of snow through the   
gaps in the trees. At least two feet of snow was already piled on the   
forest floor.  
  
The driver side door would most likely never be opened again, forcing   
Duo to crawl out the other side.  
  
"Maybe there is a Motel 6 somewhere nearby," Duo mused once everyone   
had extracted themselves from the wrecked smush of metal formerly   
known as a car.  
  
Heero righteously smacked him over the head.  
  
----------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
"I refuse to acknowledge the fact that at some point in your life you   
actually had a sense of direction!"  
  
"Calm down, Wu. have an excellent sense of direction," Duo suddenly   
stopped walking and grandly pointed off ahead and to the right with a   
mischievous sparkle in his eyes. "I happen to know thee is a place to   
stay right over... there!" he proclaimed, shifting his point to a   
little further ahead and less to the right.  
  
Silence met this announcement. Suddenly, the five all started talking   
at once.  
  
Duo: "There could be! You never know!"  
  
Heero: "Mission parameter clearly state we were to pass through this   
area and stay two nights in a pre-determined and safe location."  
  
Wufei: "Why again is Maxwell leading?"  
  
Quatre: "There is no need to yell..."  
  
Trowa: "Actually, there is a house over there."  
  
"...What?"  
  
Trowa gestured to the same place Duo had, "There is a house in that   
direction. Can't you see it?" Trowa, his eyes much more finely tuned   
to picking out shapes in misty weather, could see the outline of a   
building right where Duo had pointed.  
  
"Victory!" shouted Duo, taking off running.  
  
"Baka!" shrieked Heero as he gave chase, shouting about endangering   
the mission and wandering blindly into possible hostile territory.  
  
The "house" was in fact a gloriously ornate, slightly gothic, mansion   
towering out of the snowy mists as if conjured by magic. A tall   
turreted tower rose out of the east wing, and the whole front was   
surrounded by a wooden wrap-around porch.  
  
"Oh, it's beautiful," Quatre breathed, shifting his pack up higher on   
his shoulders and walking up the steps.  
  
"It's...broken," Duo protested, looking not at the charming decor but   
at the missing windows and what little bits of the interior he could   
see through them.  
  
"Nonsense, it has a noble sense of romance and charm!"  
  
"It looks ready to collapse and kill us all."  
  
Quatre stood before the door, holding his arms open wide. "It is   
perfectly safe!"  
  
The others, clustered together on the solid ground, warily eyed the   
rotten porch floor. True, it held Quatre's weight, but that said very   
little about it's safety. Suddenly, Trowa shuffled forward and went   
to stand by Quatre. The wood groaned but held, gradually causing the   
remaining pilots to reluctantly join the pair.  
  
"See? Perfectly safe!" Quatre pushed the heavy doors open (with a   
little assistance from Trowa) and proudly crossed the threshold.  
  
Snap, crash!  
  
Stepping on the one weak floorboard of the whole hallway, Quatre let   
out a surprised shriek as he fell through the floor to his knee.  
  
"Yup, perfectly safe," Duo muttered as Trowa and Heero helped free   
the small blonde.  
  
"I think I broke my ankle!" Quatre wailed.  
  
"Hundred and ten percent safe."  
  
"Oh, gah, the pain!"  
  
"Yes sirree, safe, safe, safe."  
  
"It's swelling! I think it's really broken!"  
  
"Safe, safe, safe."  
  
"My ankle!"  
  
"If you are unoperational, perhaps it is best to eliminate..." Heero   
began to say, stroking the gun at his side.  
  
"We are NOT shooting Quatre like a horse!" Trowa said with surprising   
force, helping the limping boy into the nearest chair.  
  
"Yes, please let's not shoot Quatre," agreed the small Arabian.  
  
Heero merely shrugged, "Acceptable for now. I will recalculate the   
mission and send a report to our contacts. Trowa, you and Quatre   
organize and inventory supplies. Wufei, secure the grounds. Duo,   
secure the house."  
  
The five shed their respective packs, with the exception of Quatre   
who had already had his taken off, and the gear was piled before Trowa  
and Quatre for inventory and organization.  
  
"I can't believe that damned thing survived," Duo said disdainfully,   
watching Heero as the ever-present laptop was freed from his pack.   
Wufei rolled his eyes and, taking out his gun, went back out into the   
snow to patrol the area.  
  
"Be grateful it is functional, or else we would be stuck here even   
longer. As it is..." the words died as Heero's lips as, with a flash,   
snap, crackle and pop, a rush of smoke rose from the laptop.  
  
"It's dead! Praise to the highest, it's dead!" Duo gleefully shouted,   
narrowingly avoiding a back-handed blow from an un-amused Heero. "Aw,   
don't cry Heero. Your laptop has gone to a better place."  
  
"Fortunately, I carry spare parts for such repairs."  
  
"Oh, good, so you won't have to steal them off me!"  
  
Heero blinked owlishly, completing missing the reference to the time   
he took parts from Deathscythe to repair Wing.   
  
Instead, he asked very seriously, "You have a laptop?"  
  
----------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
The house had three stories, plus the four-story tall tower, but after   
Duo had checked all the rooms upstairs, no one felt like venturing   
back up there. For one there was no electricity, and the floors has a   
nasty habit of creaking and threatening to collapse completely.   
  
The ground floor consisted of a massive kitchen, entry hall, formal   
living room, formal and informal parlors and a room which no one quite  
knew the purpose or function of. Since it had no windows and was the   
warmest, they chose the mystery room to sleep in.   
  
Sleeping in separate rooms, as Heero put it, would only allow the   
enemy to kill them all without the others even knowing. Duo pointed   
out the unlikelihood that a squad of Oz soldiers would suddenly   
suspect the gimpy-house, as he called it, of harboring Gundam pilots,   
but Heero was firm.  
  
That first night they all settled down on their sleeping rolls and   
commence a heavy glaring contest. Heero glared at the broken remains   
of his laptop and his suddenly-empty repair kit, which lacked any of   
the required parts but was abundant in candy bars. This fact made him   
glare at Duo, but everyone was glaring at Duo for getting them lost   
in the first place, and every pack seemed to be missing something in  
favor of sweets.  
  
"You guys!" Duo finally whined, "How was I suppose to know Heero   
would need laptop parts? How was I suppose to know that Wufei really   
needed a second pair of shoes? How was I suppose to know that was your  
sweater, Trowa. It looked like one of mine! And, Quatre, no one on   
earth needs THAT much lube!"  
  
"...Duo!" Quatre cried, turning crimson. He buried his face in his   
hands to keep himself from strangling Duo.  
  
"My point is, tomorrow is Christmas Eve. Shouldn't we try to   
celebrate as best we can?"  
  
"The mission..."   
  
Duo cut Heero off, "Screw the mission, man! What's the difference   
between staying three nights here and three nights in some other safe   
house. It's close enough, isn't it?" Seeing Heero was convinced, he   
hurried on, "It's the Holidays, Hee-chan!" Duo stopped talking long   
enough to dodge the flying laptop-projectile missile before turning   
his attention to the others, "Come on, tell the Perfect Soldier   
here..."  
  
"For the love of all that is holy, will you shut up if we agree with   
you?" Wufei snapped.  
  
Duo looked thoughtful for a few moments, "Yes."  
  
"Then, we will celebrate this 'Christmas' of yours here," Wufei   
looked to the others for their opinions.  
  
Quatre shrugged, "The way the snow is coming down, we'll end up   
snowed in. It would best just to stay here."  
  
"Great!" Duo beamed, "Tomorrow I'll get us a tree! Everyone, let's   
sing! Bingle Jells, Bingle Jells, the singer must be drunk! He-"  
  
"DUO!"  
  
  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
  
Author's Notes: This story is going to be three chapters long, this   
being the first chapter ^_^ Expect similar content: silly, romantic   
fluff and comedic happenings abound! A departure from what I've been   
writing, all this serious angst, and a welcome break. The last time I   
used the G-boys for humor was back when I wrote "Confectionery   
Lingerie" and "Rapunzel," which was one giant gag.   
...poor Trowa.  
  
Feedback/reviews are very much appreciated!  
copyright 2002 - Gundam Wing and characters copyright other people.  
Email me to join my Update ML!   
LSE - Violet Nyte (ManzokuBiscuit@aol.com)  
shameless plug - visit my website for cool "shtuff"  
http://violetnyte.fallenweb.net 


	2. December 24th

LSE // 12-21-02  
(Operation: Christmas - Chapter Two: December 24th)  
rated: PG13 - adult language, content, sexual references  
shounen-ai/yaoi  
  
December 24th  
  
  
  
"DECK THE HALLS WITH LOTS OF STUFF, FALALALA..."  
  
"MAXWELL! SHUT UP OR I WILL SHOOT YOU!"  
  
"Guys, guys, it's so early...! No fighting."  
  
"Omae o korosu, omae o korosu!"  
  
"Gee, Heero, I thought you'd appreciate how quickly that got everyone   
awake, what with Wufei screaming like a girl and all..."  
  
Face a color somewhere between red and purple, Wufei pointed a   
quavering finger at the grinning Duo, who sat calmly on his pallet   
braiding his hair. The other pilots were at various stages of waking   
up, thanks to Duo's custom-made alarm system of 'Deck the Halls.'   
  
Wufei's eyes narrowed as he continued to point, "If you had noticed   
last night when I announced to everyone that I would make sure we   
were all waken CALMLY and RATIONALLY by my Zen-clock..."  
  
"That stupid chime thing of yours? That thing takes forever to wake   
anyone up, even Mister Sunshine Heero over there."  
  
"That is the entire purpose, Maxwell. It is better to slowly and   
gradually move through the stages of sleep than to wake everyone by   
screaming a slaughtered version of some damn song!"  
  
"Would you prefer 'Jingle Bells?' Wake up now, wake up now, it is   
time to rise. Heero's hair looks like crap, while mine is..."  
  
Four simultaneously thrown pillows collided into Duo's face, cutting   
off the prospective verse in progress. Still grinning, Duo bounded up   
to his feet and flashed a peace-sign, "I'm ready and you're not! HA!"  
  
Wufei, who, despite his deep protests, was closest to Duo, suddenly   
reached out and grabbed Duo's ankle. He dragged the boy off his feet   
and rolled free of his pallet. He all but sat on Duo and clamped his   
hands around the boy's throat.   
  
"I'm feeling fine, and you're not!" Wufei shouted, proceeding to   
thump Duo's head against the floor several times before the other   
pilots managed to pry the rabid Chinese boy away.  
  
----------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Around lunchtime, Wufei warily advanced into the kitchen only to find   
Quatre the soul occupant. "I thought Maxwell was suppose to be   
helping you prepare the meal?" he asked, ready for Duo to burst out   
from the pantry and begin to sing some God-forsaken rendition of a   
carol.  
  
"After he set K-rations on fire, I let him go. I think he went to get   
a Christmas tree."  
  
"...a tree."  
  
Quatre nodded, attentively checking the small fire he had going in   
the fireplace. "You've heard of Christmas trees, haven't you, Wufei?   
...Wufei?"   
  
But the Chinese boy had already fled, hearing the faint strains of   
Duo's singing from outside. Quatre looked up as the door opened,   
admitting Duo with a rather pathetic looking tree, the bottom half   
distinctively charred. "Duo, what on earth... You're suppose to cut   
the tree down, not blow it up!"  
  
"I didn't have an axe. Anyway, it was just a small bomb. Not my fault   
the damn thing was flammable."  
  
At that moment, Heero burst in followed by Trowa, both with guns   
drawn as they made a dash for the kitchen door. When they caught   
sight of a grinning Duo and his slighty-smoky prize, both stopped and   
stared.   
  
Duo gave a slight wave, "Oh, hi guys. I got a tree."  
  
Slowly, Trowa put his gun away and sneaked towards the exit, seeing   
the look on Heero's face. Seeing the tree wasn't going to be enough,   
Duo quickly launched into a rambled excuse, "Well, see, I was helping   
Quatre in the kitchen, but he didn't like the way I was cooking--"  
  
"You incinerated the food!"  
  
Duo plowed on, ignoring Quatre's comment, "So I thought to myself,   
what's a Christmas without a proper tree? Of course, I forgot to grab   
an axe, but I don't think we even have one, but the point is I just   
had to get the tree cut down and ready to decorate -- you like   
decorating trees, don't you Heero? -- so, well, I had some left over   
bombs on me, just little ones mind you, and..."  
  
Wordlessly, Heero put the gun back in his holster and left the room   
without so much as a glance to the rambling Duo, who gradually   
stopped talking when he realized he wasn't going to die.  
  
Humming a cheery carol which blessedly possessed no lyrics, Duo   
wandered out of the kitchen with his mutilated tree in hand. Startled   
shouts rang out from beyond the door, and there was a brief scuffle   
before Wufei, shaking pine needles from his hair, entered.  
  
"Maxwell is intent upon killing us all," he announced, grandly   
sweeping around the counter to face off against Quatre, who   
complacently nodding slightly and went back to counting freeze-dried   
ice cream packets, neopolitan flavored. Next time, Quatre would have   
to be more careful in watching what Duo brought in the way of food.  
  
"Wufei, haven't you ever celebrated Christmas?"  
  
The Chinese pilot had a snappish reply at hand, but a look at the   
genuine curiosity mingled with sadness on Quatre's face stopped him.   
"No," he said politely enough, "it is not a ritual practiced where I   
am from."  
  
"Christmas is one of the best holidays. Everyone gives everyone else   
a gift, but you have to place them under the tree on Christmas Eve.   
On Christmas Day, everyone opens their gifts," Quatre smiled   
wistfully, "On Earth, it's possible to have a real, authentic White   
Christmas, with lots of snow. Of course... Not many people celebrate   
the holiday anymore, with the war and all."  
  
"Gifts? What about those who receive no gifts?"  
  
Quatre's eyes sparkled for a moment, "Saint Nicholas brings every   
good boy and girl a Christmas gift."  
  
"...I am not a child."  
  
The blonde shrugged, "One of my sisters told me the origins of the   
holiday one time. Apparently, way back before the colonies were   
formed, there was a real Saint Nick who climbed into houses and left   
gifts under the tree and stuffed stockings."  
  
"Breaking and entering, how profane. What a dishonorable person he   
must be if he must come in the night and secretly, at that. Why would   
he give these children presents anyway, unless he desired to twist   
their loyalties to himself and dominant the innocent?"  
  
"..."  
  
Wufei nodded in a satisfied manner, "But he is dead now, yes? There   
is no longer a Saint Nicholas crawling into children's homes and   
polluting their minds with his vile gifts of slavery and dishonor?"  
  
"...Yes, Wufei. He's dead."  
  
Wufei nodded again, "Then, do people gives another gifts in   
celebration of the tyrants fall from power?"  
  
Quatre could only nod his head slightly, not even sure why he was   
agreeing except it was far superior to explaining the real reason of   
Christmas. For all he knew, Wufei's version could be dead-on the   
truth. His sister had only heard the story from someone who had once   
read a book that mentioned it. A highly reliable source.  
  
"Ah. Christmas is an honorable holiday," Wufei pleasantly, rising and   
departing from the kitchen.  
  
----------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
"Oh, Christmas Tree! Oh, Christmas Tree! How lovely are your ashes!"   
Duo sung loudly, tossing the string of berries over the green   
branches. The majority of the charred remains had been cleared away,   
leaving a presentable, if gimpy, tree.  
  
Taking careful aim, Wufei soundly thumped Duo over the head before   
storming out. Unphased, Duo waved merrily in return and shouted,   
"Don't blame me when all you get is a lump of coal!"  
  
"Please, Duo, can you take a break from singing?" Quatre pleaded.  
  
"Well... Okay, for you. Hey, Quat, what'cha getting Trowa?"  
  
The blonde blushed and deflected the question, "Are you getting Heero   
anything?"  
  
"Life-altering sex."  
  
"Duo!"  
  
"Just kidding, Quat!" Duo managed to wheeze between helpless laughter   
caused by the stunned look on Quatre's face. "Oh, come on. Tell me!   
The tree looks so lonely without any presents underneath..."  
  
"I haven't thought to get him anything. What could I get him way out   
here? That is, unless you've discovered a mall around here I haven't."  
  
"You should give Trowa something 'special'" Duo said, raising his   
hands and making little quote marks in the air.  
  
Quatre frowned, his slender brows creasing forward, "Sex?"  
  
"Fantastic sex."  
  
Trowa, one foot in the doorway and suddenly regretting the move very   
much, look between Quatre and the grinning Duo in confusion. Seeing   
him there, Duo waved ecstatically and shouted, "Hiya, Trowa!"  
  
"Eep!" Quatre cried, whirling around and trying to figure out how   
much the other boy had over heard.  
  
"Hohoho! And what do YOU want for Christmas, Trowa?" Duo asked   
brightly, oblivious to the completely freaked look on the poor boy's   
face as he alternated staring at Quatre...Duo...Quatre...Ceiling.  
  
Without saying anything, Trowa left the room, followed by a red-faced   
Quatre, muttering an explanation. Duo looked to the Christmas tree   
philosophically and nodded with a wide grin.   
  
"Blackmail."  
  
----------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
"Excuse me! Pardon! HEY!" Duo shrieked, waving his arms above his   
head for attention. The four other pilots stopped bickering amongst   
themselves and, as one unified glare, turned to Duo.  
  
"Much better," Duo announced into the angry silence. "As you might   
have noticed, all the food has disappeared. Now, don't worry, it will   
come back, but only if you agree to a few...festive demands."  
  
"Omae o korosu!"  
  
"Indeed. Okay, rule number one!" Duo held up a clump of foliage,   
"This is mistletoe. Anyone under the mistletoe must kiss another. It   
doesn't matter who, but if you're both under it, smoochie-smooch! No,   
Wufei, hold your comments until the end. Now, I have gathered a nice   
supply of mistletoe and generously decorated the mansion with it.   
Play by the rules, or no one gets food!"  
  
"Yuy, you shoot his legs, I'll get the rope," Wufei growled.  
  
Quatre gasped in shock.  
  
"That's not very nice... Okay, second rule! Gifts. As per tradition,   
we all have to give each other at least one gift. And, no, Wufei and   
Heero, a bullet in the kneecap is not an acceptable gift. Those are   
actually the only two rules I can think of, but I'll let you know if   
I think of anymore required Christmas activities..."  
  
Before anyone else could offer objections, Trowa spoke up, "Return   
the food and limit yourself to one song per hour."  
  
"Barton!" Wufei barked, "We do not negotiate with the enemy!"  
  
"Oh, please, Wufei," Quatre said in a rare bout of sarcasm which   
surprised even the small blonde himself.  
  
"Deal!" Duo cried happily, a positively demonic smile on his face.   
  
"...I do not like that look," Heero muttered, looking uneasily around   
for anything suspicious.   
  
"Food's in the third cabinet on the right above the pie tins," Duo   
said quickly before turning the full force of his smile on Heero, who   
backed away nervously, one hand on his gun.  
  
Without saying anything and with the same smile still in place, Duo   
pointed upwards. Everyone raised their eyes to the ceiling at the   
same time, staring at the spring of mistletoe tied securely to the   
ceiling beam and directly above where Heero stood.  
  
Whatever objections Heero might have raised were neatly packaged and   
set aside as Duo's soft lips pressed against his.  
  
"That is the most disgusting thing I have ever seen," Wufei growled,   
oblivious to Quatre and Trowa behind him also lip-locking, even   
though they weren't technically under the mistletoe.  
  
But who really paid attention to technicalities?  
  
----------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Shuffle, shuffle, trip, crash... "Dammit!"  
  
Gasp.  
  
"Quatre? Was that you?"  
  
"Duo? What are you doing up here!"  
  
"What are YOU doing here, and cursing at that!"  
  
"...Just looking around."  
  
Snort.  
  
"Yeah, really. Hey, look up," Duo said suddenly, turning on his   
flashlight and aiming it up at the ceiling.  
  
"You put one all the way up here?!" Quatre managed to get out before   
Duo planted a chaste kiss on his lips. A sly smile crossed his face   
as he gently pushed Duo away, "You're bad."  
  
"Someone has to be naughty, or else who would all the nice kids be   
held up against? Let me guess, you're looking for gifts," Duo said,   
nodding to the dusty but intact furnishings. It it wasn't for the   
distinct patina of age the room could pass for livable.  
  
Quatre nodded, turning on his flashlight and sweeping the pale beam   
over a nearby dresser. "You too?" he asked, receiving a nod in return.  
  
  
"Find anything good?"  
  
The other boy skipped over the question and chose instead to look   
cryptically around the small room. "It feels wrong, you know, to be   
taking things from the other rooms, but this one. Hm. It feels right,   
you know?"   
  
Duo gestured slightly to Quatre's chest, "Is that just a feeling or   
is that something from in there?"  
  
He pressed one hand over his heart and tried to decipher why he felt   
guilty for lurking around downstairs, but here, in the tower, it   
seemed okay to loot and pillage. "Let's just say I don't think we'll   
be encountering any rogue spirits angry that we took their prized   
china."  
  
One dark eyebrow slowly crept towards a chestnut hair line, "I guess   
that's reassuring."  
  
"Well, good luck, then. I'll let you hunt in peace," Quatre said as   
he moved away from Duo and back the way he came. The tower consisted   
of just two rooms, the bedroom and the parlor, plus a lot of stairs.   
  
Once safely out from Duo's watchful eye he assured himself the gift   
he had snatched off the night stand was still tucked into his back   
pocket. The only person he still had to find a gift for was, of   
course, the most difficult and most important one. Trowa.  
  
He should have asked Duo was he was seriously going to get Heero, but   
the back of his mind wasn't entirely convinced the answer Duo had   
given was a joke. Quatre moved wraith-like about the room, shining   
his light over the objects and trying to find one that looked like   
something Trowa would want.   
  
"Ahem."  
  
Quatre quite nearly parted with his skin as Wufei spoke, clasping his   
hands before him in a businesslike manner. "It appears, Winner, that   
we have both fallen into another of Maxwell's sinister traps."  
  
"Pardon?"  
  
Solemn as a preacher, Wufei pointed towards the ceiling in a   
particularly ominous gesture, "The demonic creation known as   
'mistletoe' hangs above us."  
  
"Oh."  
  
The first thought to run through Quatre's mind was how Trowa would   
react if he were to walk in. The second was that, for some strange   
reason, Wufei's lips tasted remarkably like a candy cane.  
  
----------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
That night, gathered around Duo's brave, little charred tree, the   
faces were a variety of emotions. Duo looked pleased with himself   
because, with the aid of mistletoe, he'd managed to kiss Wufei once,   
Trowa twice, Quatre four times and Heero seven. That he had to follow   
Heero around very carefully for the last few kisses was of little   
importance, or that Wufei had nearly turned purple. Purple did not   
become the Chinese boy in the slightest degree.  
  
For their part, Quatre and Trowa had "accidentally" gotten caught   
together under the mistletoe too many times to count. At some point,   
Duo was convinced Quatre would simply tie a bundle to his head. Duo   
had considered the stunt himself, but the prospect of having to   
smooch Wuffie again wasn't exactly appealing, and he didn't think he   
could manage to survive anyway.  
  
"You know... Trowa and Wufei haven't kissed yet," Duo said suddenly,   
munching the last bit of a candy bar. Even though he had graciously   
offered to share, none of the other pilots seemed interested in his   
candy stash.  
  
The eye not hidden by his bangs widened at the announcement as Trowa   
ever so slightly edged away from the Chinese pilot, who was opening   
and closing his mouth like a fish. "Ki...Kisama!" Wufei cried,   
throwing the nearest available object at the laughing Duo.  
  
Fortunately, the object was a pillow and caused little damage. "What,"  
he teased, "are you scared of the Wrath of Quatre?"  
  
"I am not afraid of Winner."  
  
Quatre raised an eyebrow and slid minutely closer to the blank-faced   
Trowa, who had the slightest echo of bewilderment in his emerald eyes.  
  
"Yes you are!" Duo challenged, an 'innocent' gleam to his eyes.  
  
"I am not afraid of Winner," Wufei repeated, standing up and marching   
across the small space. He bent down and squarely kissed Trowa on the   
lips, much to Quatre's obvious surprise. Fortunately for Wufei, the   
kiss did not invoke the Wrath of Quatre.  
  
"Okay, okay," Quatre said, politely pushing the Chinese boy away from   
Trowa, "You proved your point. Isn't it time for bed now?" He pleaded,  
looking between Heero and Duo, who seemed to be running the show with  
his Christmas rules.  
  
"Santa Clause won't come unless we're all asleep!" Duo shouted,   
turning off his flashlight.  
  
"This Santa Clause you speak of is dead, and justifiably so. He dares   
enter in this house, I shall kill him again," Wufei vowed, settling   
back into his own sleeping bag.  
  
Quatre shook his head at Duo's confused look, mentally willing the   
braided boy not to comment or question.   
  
"Hey. There are only nineteen gifts under the tree!" Duo said   
suddenly, turning his flashlight back on. "Everyone was suppose to   
get everyone else one gift. Someone broke the rules! Don't make me   
sing again!"  
  
"Wait! Duo, the missing present is one of mine," Quatre said quickly   
before a carol could burst forth. He crawled over and whispered into   
Duo's ear what the missing gift in question was, and who for.  
  
Duo's eyes slowly widened and he was left speechless, only able to   
stare at the petite blonde as he moved back to his sleeping bag.   
  
Quatre smiled innocently at the four stares suddenly aimed at him as   
the other pilots were stuck between curiosity and not really wanting   
to know what the boy had thought up to cause even Duo to go silent   
with shock.  
  
"Good night, everyone," Quatre said cheerfully, clicking off his   
light and leaving the room in darkness.  
  
  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
  
Author's Notes: Alright! Two down, one to go! I'm really going to try   
and get the next chapter written today even if it kills me! I've   
officially declared Christmas break as pure writing time, because all   
my social companions have gone away for the holidays and my brother   
is soon to move out. I don't want to get bored, either, so if you   
have AIM and feel like it you could talk to me! ^_^ My screennames   
(in order of most used to least) are ManzokuBiscuit, Ninevah04 and   
SeraphicFate   
  
Omae o korosu - I will kill you  
Kisama - vulgar form of 'you' (bastard)  
Feedback/reviews are very much appreciated!  
copyright 2002 - Gundam Wing and characters copyright other people.  
Email me to join my Update ML!   
LSE - Violet Nyte (ManzokuBiscuit@aol.com)  
shameless plug - visit my website for cool "shtuff"  
http://violetnyte.fallenweb.net 


	3. December 25th

LSE // 12-24-02  
(Operation: Christmas - Chapter Three: December 25th)  
rated: PG13 - adult language, content, sexual references  
shounen-ai/yaoi  
  
December 25th  
  
  
  
  
  
"Wake up wake up wake up! Everyone up up now!"  
  
"Whazza?!" Wufei cried, sitting upright and fumbling for his gun.   
  
Heero already had his trust pistol out and pressed against Duo's face,  
directly between wide violet eyes. There was a slight click as Heero   
reset the safety and then a thump as the Japanese boy collapsed back   
into his sleeping bag, promptly curling into a small ball and going   
back to sleep.  
  
"Merry Christmas, Wuffie!" Duo shouted happily, unphased by just   
having a gun barrel staring him down.  
  
"What time is it...?" Quatre muttered as he sat up, rubbing his eyes   
in a typical early-Christmas-morning way. While Heero slept and Wufei   
glared at Duo, who beamed happily in return, Trowa stealthily slid   
over towards Quatre and gave the blonde a short kiss. Which Quatre   
returned. Which ended with Quatre all but on Trowa's lap.  
  
"Time for PRESENTS!" Duo yelled, almost directly into Heero's ear.  
  
Without reacting in any other way, Heero jerked his arm out from under  
the blanket and shoved Duo back as he sat up and turned the patented   
Yuy Death Glare towards the grinning boy. "Omae o korosu," he   
muttered, without much force.  
  
"Merry Christmas to you, too, Heero."  
  
"Ah," Wufei said in a content voice, counting the gifts under the   
tree, "the wicked Saint Nicholas remains dead."  
  
"Open your gift from me first, Wuffie!" Duo called, moving away from   
Heero to shove a quite ghetto looking box towards the Chinese boy.  
  
Tensed as if the box he was opening contained a bomb instead of a   
present, which it very well might be true, Wufei cautiously pulled the  
box flaps apart. He frowned, pulling out a slightly smaller box. Duo   
started giggling as box after box was pulled apart only to reveal   
another cardboard cube. At long last, Wufei held a wrapped package no   
bigger than the palm of his hand.  
  
By this point, he was glaring at Duo even as he unwrapped the final   
layer of yellowed newspapers. Quatre leaned forward and, when he saw   
what was there, laughed slightly. "Duo," he said, "I can't believe   
you sometimes."  
  
Duo beamed as Wufei stared at the pair of ear plugs in his hand with   
a mingled look of disgust and gratitude. On cue, Duo opened his mouth   
to sing. Just as the first few words burst forth, Wufei jammed the   
cotton plugs into his ears.  
  
"All I want for Christmas," Duo sang with a meaningful look to Heero,  
"is fantastic sex! Fantastic sex, Oh fantastic sex..."  
  
Heero gave a snort of disbelief and nudged one of his presents over   
towards Quatre, hoping that would make Duo stop singing. Fortunately,   
the boy dropped his carol before someone, specifically Duo, got hurt.  
  
"Thank you, Heero," Quatre stammered, not quite sure what to make of   
his present. Only Heero Yuy would think to give K-rations as a   
Christmas gift. Heero nodded and the other pilots opened their gifts   
from him, and all of whom received K-rations except for Duo.  
  
Duo got a lump of coal.  
  
One slender eyebrow twitched as the braided boy looked at Heero   
questioningly. Heero smirked and replied, "You've been very naughty."  
  
Trowa pounded on Quatre's back as the petite blonde choked on his own   
breath in surprise. Wufei, who hadn't heard the exchange thanks to   
his ear plugs, reluctantly parted with the said ear plugs when Duo   
said something to him.  
  
"Where are your gifts, Wufei?"  
  
Everyone went 'ooo' and 'ahh' at the finely wrapped gifts Wufei   
pointed to. The Chinese boy had parted with a silk shirt to properly   
wrap the presents, but the effect was worth it.   
  
"Arigatou," Heero murmured, opening his present to find a handful of   
bullets. "Thank you."  
  
"Aw, Wuffie, you shouldn't have!" Duo exclaimed, pulling out a roll   
of duct tape. "Uhm, not that I don't love it, but...uh, why?"   
Secretly, Duo was hoping Wufei would reply the tape was for bed time   
fun, but something told him that wasn't the boy's intention...  
  
"To tape your mouth shut with, Maxwell."  
  
"Ouch. That hurt."  
  
Before a fight could break out, Quatre hurriedly thanked Wufei for   
his present as he opened it. For a moment, he just stared at it   
before slowly turning pink and closing the wrappings back over the   
package. "Ah, ahem. Thank you, Wufei."  
  
Trowa wasn't as quick to open his as Quatre, and Duo took the   
opportunity to quickly edge over and get a good look before Quatre   
could warn Trowa. Wufei had given them both similar gifts.  
  
"Wufei!" Duo screeched with laughter, "You gave them pages from the   
Kama Sutra?! Where on earth did you get them from? AH! Don't tell me,   
I really don't want to know."  
  
Three of the five pilots were a beet red as Trowa handed out his   
presents. Quatre waited until Duo was ripping the wrapping off his   
gift before hurriedly opening his.   
  
"Mmmm, thank you!" the blonde said, leaning over for a quick kiss.   
"Where did you find it at?"   
  
In his hands was a porcelain clown figure, that, if it possessed the   
same gravity-defying bangs, would look remarkably like Trowa. Only   
not as sexy. Trowa only smiled secretly, not wanting to admit to   
Quatre he took the figure from one of the second floor bedrooms. A   
bedroom decorated in pinks and frilly lace.   
  
For Heero there was a cryptic looking glass sphere which Trowa   
explained as an anger ball. He told Heero he could break it when   
angry, so not to create unearthly violence against some poor hapless   
victim. Specifically Duo, but Trowa didn't say that.  
  
The Japanese boy frowned, then set the ball on the floor and pushed   
it slightly, so it started to roll away. In one smooth motion, he   
drew his gun and fired a single shot, shattering the glass ball into   
pieces. As every gaped at him, Heero gave a rare smile and put away   
his weapon.  
  
"Thank you. I feel much better."  
  
Duo backed away slightly, protecting the porcelain cat figurine   
(black, with unearthly green eyes) Trowa had given him. Likewise,   
Wufei moved his dragon figurine out of Heero's reach.  
  
"Here ya go, Trowa. You, ah, might want to be careful with that."  
  
Emerald eyes wary, Trowa carefully took the wrapping off his gift and   
waited for it to explode. Instead, he found a small bit of black   
fabric, laying innocently among its tattered wrappings. He looked at   
Duo questioningly, holding the black cloth up.  
  
Duo grinned, "That would be a thong. I think we're the same size."  
  
"...oh." Trowa said as he released the article of clothing, although   
it could hardly be called that, as if it were on fire and turned a   
brilliant shade of crimson.  
  
Quatre, in the middle of unwrapping his gift from Duo, suddenly   
looked as if he didn't want to remove the final layer of paper. "Why   
don't I give you my gift first, Duo. You too, Wufei. Heero."  
  
A wicked grin on his face, Duo readily agreed, ripping open the box   
from Quatre. "Oh, boy! Thanks, Q! Just what I always wanted, porn!"  
  
Simultaneously, all eyes turned to the mortified Quatre. "That is not   
porn, Duo! Those are high-quality novels, pure classics!"  
  
"Porn!" Duo cried, brandishing one of the books outwards. The book,   
although a romance novel, hardly qualified for porn, and Heero and   
Wufei went back to unwrapping their respective presents.  
  
For Heero, a bit rusty but otherwise operational hunting knife, and   
Wufei received a landscape painting of mountains. Which left Duo's   
gifts to Heero and Quatre, plus Quatre's for Trowa.   
  
Fortunately for Quatre, Duo seemed eager to give Heero his gift. "As   
you open your present, I shall perform a song of my own creation in   
tribute. Ahem," he said, clearing his throat. Wufei made a dive for   
the ear plugs.  
  
"Hark! The herald angels sing, Heero's ass is really neat! Gee how I   
would love to fuck him, grab the lube and swab your--"  
  
"OMAE O KOROSU!" Heero shrieked at both the lyrics and the gift,   
which was a package of condoms. He tackled Duo and for a brief moment   
they wrestled across the floor before their lips met and that was the   
end of the fight.  
  
Wufei, ears safely plugged, also covered his eyes, not wanting to see   
the Perfect Soldier give the perfect french kiss.  
  
Quatre leaned over and whispered his gift into Trowa's ear. The other   
boy's eyes widened and reflexively glanced down to Quatre's lap, then   
back up at the smiling face. One emerald eye twitched, then the other.  
Quatre shrugged slightly and whispered again, making the other boy   
cough several times.  
  
The blonde raised one pale eyebrow in question, "Do you not like it?   
You don't *have* to accept it, you know..."  
  
"NO! I mean," Trowa cleared his throat slightly, lowering his voice   
before Duo and Heero, still occupied, could hear, "Quatre. This is   
the best gift I have received in my entire life."  
  
"Aw," Quatre blushed and started to reply, but suddenly there was a   
slight scuffle as Duo and Heero parted, each looking a bit breathless.   
  
Before Quatre could say what he was going to, Duo pointed to the   
unopened present in front of the Arabian. "Nuh-uh, gotta open them   
all! Go on, Q."  
  
Quatre didn't like the gleam in Duo's eyes.  
  
The blonde held his breath slightly as he pulled back the later layer   
of wrapping and let it out when there was nothing more than a small   
tub of hand cream. "Thank you, Duo," he said, relieved beyond more   
opulent words.  
  
Duo's eyes were now glimmering in a purely demonic fashion.  
  
Quatre swallowed nervously, "Ah? Duo, thank you. Er, for the lotion.   
Thank you."  
  
Duo's smile only widened, "It's not lotion."  
  
One eyebrow twitched upwards, "Oh? ...Then, what is it?"  
  
The other boy leaned forward, amethyst eyes sparkling mischievously.   
"That, my friend, would be lube."  
  
----------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Sometime in the afternoon, when Quatre had finally started talking to   
him again, Duo went to go look at the mangled heap that was their   
previous vehicle and realized he could fix it. Heero and Wufei   
pitched in to help, and no one could seem to find Trowa and Quatre.  
  
The two showed up, clothing a bit rumpled and Quatre's gift from Duo   
'accidentally misplaced and lost forever,' in time to pack their   
things along with everyone else. Duo waved good-bye to the charred   
little Christmas tree and started to climb into the driver's seat.  
  
"No way, Maxwell," Wufei ordered, all but throwing Duo into the back.  
  
Duo crossed his arms and stuck his tongue out, sitting back in his   
seat and trying not to notice when Quatre trailed his fingers lightly  
along Trowa's thigh and the other boy pinched the blonde's ass in   
retaliation.  
  
He leaned forward, hanging his arms over the back of front seat as he   
grinned at Heero, "Wanna hear the song I wrote for you again?"  
  
"No."  
  
"There are more verses."  
  
"No!"  
  
"How about a different song?"   
  
Duo didn't wait for the reply before launching into song, "Heero the   
fine-assed pilot, had a very luscious ass. And if you ever saw it,   
you would want to praise it too. All of the other pilots, use to want   
to screw him good. But they never could, or Shinigami would kill   
them all."  
  
"Duo," Heero warned.  
  
The braided pilot ignored him, "Then one steamy Christmas day, Duo   
said to him, 'Heero with your ass so fine, won't you share my bed   
tonight?' Then--"  
  
"DUO!" Heero shrieked, whirling around and attempting to strangle the   
laughing baka, who leapt back in his seat to avoid death.  
  
There was quiet in the car the next few minutes as Duo wisely kept   
quiet in order to keep his life. He began to kick the back of Wufei's   
seat, waiting until he heard the Chinese boy exhale in frustration   
before stopping. Then, when Wufei relaxed, he gave a sharp kick.  
  
"Maxwell!" Wufei yelled, adding a curse in Chinese so profane he   
immediately took it back with an apology to Nataku.  
  
Duo smiled innocently to the rear view mirror, but stopped kicking   
Wufei's seat. He watched the snow for a while as he thought up another  
delightful version of a carol.  
  
He waited until their guard was dropped before solemnly singing, "We   
five pilots of Gundam are, leaving this forsaken place. I crashed the   
car into a big tree, and Heero's laptop broke..."  
  
"MAXWELL!" Wufei looked away from the road as both he and Heero   
attempted to kill Duo this time.  
  
Quatre suddenly shrieked, "Wufei! Look OUT!"  
  
  
  
  
  
-----------------End--------------------  
  
(Omake! Bonus!)  
The completed version of Duo's carol  
  
Heero the fine-assed pilot,   
had a very luscious ass.   
And if you ever saw it,   
you would want to praise it too.   
All of the other pilots,   
use to want to screw him good.   
But they never could,   
or Shinigami would kill them all.  
Then one steamy Christmas day,   
Duo said to him,   
'Heero with your ass so fine,   
won't you share my bed tonight?'   
Then how the walls did trembled,  
as the mattress began to shake.  
Heero the fine-assed pilot,  
you're the best fuck I ever had!  
  
  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all my readers!  
----------------http://violetnyte.fallenweb.net/xmas.html  
Go to that page for a special Christmas gift from Violet! ^_^  
  
  
Author's Notes: DONE! Okay, maybe two...er...three days late, but at   
least I finished it before Christmas! Technically... Uhm, yeah. One   
in the morning Christmas Eve counts as before, so I win! Yay, dance.   
Hands down my favorite Duo-carol is his version of "Rudolf the   
Red-nosed Reindeer," hence why I had to write the entire song out. My   
second fav is "Hark! The herald angels sings" because I just like   
that carol. My favorite normal, boring carol is "Carol of the Bells"  
but that one is impossible to sing, much less parody. Oh well, I   
hope you enjoyed the 'fic! Don't forget to visit the webpage above   
for another gift from me.   
  
Omae o korosu - I will kill you  
Feedback/reviews are very much appreciated!  
copyright 2002 - Gundam Wing and characters copyright other people.  
Email me to join my Update ML!   
LSE - Violet Nyte (ManzokuBiscuit@aol.com) 


End file.
